Is There More to Sex?
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Have you ever heard guys bragging about their sexual exploits? Maybe you are even one of those guys. The jokes and bragging about sex get you lots of laughs.
But stop for a minute. Have you ever felt there must be more to sex – you know, more than just “doing it”? No guy likes to admit doubts or hesitations when it comes to sex – especially not to another guy. You’re supposed to be an expert just because you are a guy.
A lot of bragging by guys about sex doesn’t match their feelings. It’s not easy, but stop and look at what you really feel inside. We guys often avoid this at all costs. But those feelings are there for a reason. No one is telling you how you SHOULD feel. Instead, take a minute and really look at how you DO feel.
Girls who have sex with lots of guys get labeled with all kinds of bad names. But it takes two to have sex. The guy doesn’t get labeled at all. Yet many guys, when they are honest enough to admit it, feel some shame and guilt. They can even feel used – like they are expected to perform, even when they don’t want to. Girls will talk with their friends about feeling used – guys won’t because they fear it will make them look lame. They feel something is missing from sex. That missing part is intimacy.
Everyone knows about the physical act of sex. But without intimacy it is just that – an act. Once it’s completed you may feel good physically, but what about emotionally?
Reasons to Have Sex Before Marriage
- It feels good.
Reasons Not to Have Sex Until Marriage
- You don’t have to worry about getting a girl pregnant.
- You don’t have to worry about getting herpes, chlamydia, genital warts, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis B, trichomoniasis, AIDS or other diseases you get by having sex.
- You don’t have to worry about getting sexually involved with a girl, which makes breaking up so much more painful.
- You don’t have to worry about the pressure of having to perform, even though you are not emotionally prepared.
- You don’t have to worry about finally finding the girl you want to marry and then giving her more than a diamond – like herpes, genital warts or AIDS.
Intimacy
Intimacy is something that all human beings need. We want people to know and accept us for who we really are on the inside.
Sex was intended as the ultimate act of intimacy between a man and a woman. It is the acting out of love and caring between two people who have committed to each other for a lifetime in marriage.
Intimacy is something you must have in a good marriage. OK, you may not be thinking about marriage now. But most guys will admit they want a good marriage – someday. When a guy engages in the act of sex for recreation, or as an expected part of a relationship, he can lose the ability to be intimate. Females become objects for sex. The part of his heart that responds to intimacy shuts down. The more partners he has, the harder it becomes to open up and allow someone to see inside.
Is it possible that a lot of guys would actually be relieved if they knew they could choose not to engage in sex and still feel OK?
Actually, a lot of guys all over the country are making just that choice. Even many of those who have been sexually active are choosing to become abstinent. Others are virgins and are committed to wait until marriage. They are doing it for different reasons – but all of them are making this choice because it is best for them now and in the future.
You can too. Think about it.