Adoption or Abortion

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Decisions … some are small and some are very big. Some don’t affect your life at all. Others have consequences you must deal with the rest of your life. Choosing between abortion or adoption can be the decision of a lifetime.

If you are pregnant and unmarried, you are faced with a big decision. “What am I going to do with the baby inside of me?” There are several options available, two of which are adoption or abortion. Let us compare the answers to questions regarding these two choices. In some ways the answers are very similar, but the difference is a matter of life and death.

If You Adopt…

  • You will be free to pursue your goals and dreams that you had before you were pregnant.
  • You will not have to care for a baby before you are ready.
  • You will not have the financial burden of caring for a child.
  • You will not have to worry about finding a sitter, missing out on the fun with your friends and being tied down.
  • When you think of your baby, you will think of him or her as happy and loved by a mommy and daddy.
  • You will have precious memories of your baby’s face, fingers, toes, eyes and smile.
  • You will know you gave the greatest gift of all – a child, to a couple whose hope and dream was a baby to love. You will be free to pursue your goals and dreams that you had before you were pregnant.

If You Abort…

  • You will be free to pursue your goals and dreams that you had before you were pregnant.
  • You will not have to care for a baby before you are ready.
  • You will not have the financial burden of caring for a child.
  • You will not have to worry about finding a sitter, missing out on the fun with your friends and being tied down.
  • There is no baby to think of; no smile, no little fingers or toes to remember. You have only the memory that you ended your baby’s life. 
  • Instead of feeling good about how your pregnancy ended, you may feel sad and empty. But you can never go back and give that child life! 

Decisions

You may have many questions and answers about adoption. Please take a moment to consider the following questions and answers before you make the most important decision of your life. Decisions … some are small and some are very big. Some don’t affect your life at all. Others have consequences you must deal with the rest of your life.

Adoption Q&A with Tina

My name is Tina. When I was 17 I got pregnant. I was really upset and confused. I thought about abortion for a minute – it would have been so easy. But, I knew I couldn’t do that to my baby so I decided on adoption. It wasn’t easy but it was the right thing to do. 

That was many years ago. My “baby” is now 15. I have no regrets. I know she is loved and happy. If you are pregnant, don’t just say “no” to adoption. Think about it. It could be the best thing for you AND your baby. 

You may have some questions about adoption. I’ll try to answer them.

Can I choose the family? 

Yes. It’s not like it used to be when everything was secretive. Most agencies will give you letters with photos telling you all about the couple. Many agencies also let you meet and interview prospective parents.

Can I have contact with my baby after the adoption? 

It depends on what you want. The agency will match you with couples who want the same degree of contact as you do. There could be visits after the adoption, photos and letters, phone contact – whatever you and the adoptive couple are comfortable with. Though I haven’t seen her, I have exchanged letters with Catherine for the past 15 years. She starts her letters with, “Dear Birth Mommy…”

Will my child feel abandoned? 

A good idea is to write a letter or send something special you made or bought. If you write, you can tell your child that you loved her so much you gave her life and a mommy and daddy. These assurances will make your baby feel special, not abandoned. When Catherine’s adoptive parents came to pick her up, she wore a T-shirt I had made that said, “I love my mommy and daddy.”

What if the father doesn’t want the adoption? 

The birth father’s rights are the same as yours. If you go through an agency they are used to working with fathers in this situation.

How can I be sure my child will be well cared for? 

Any couple who adopts a child must be approved by the agency. A complete background check and home study is done on them.

Are you still happy with your decision? 

Yes! It was hard, mostly at first. But, as time went on and I knew she was happy and loved by a mommy and daddy, I felt better. I was able to go to college, marry, and have children of my own. I know abortion seems easy, but it is also final. I am so thankful I chose life for Catherine and so are her adoptive parents!

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