The message of surrender is not readily embraced by
everyone who hears it. After sharing this message at a Bible study, one young woman
thought that a mutual friend had told me everything this young woman had confided to her.
In fact, I knew nothing of this young woman. Yet the message I shared had described her so
well that she felt her confidence had been betrayed. To this day, she will not speak with
me. It was much easier to reject the messenger than embrace the message! You may be
reading this now and finding yourself feeling this same thing. I don't know anything about
you either. The simple fact is, we as human beings share some remarkably similar traits.
One is our total obsession with self. The other is our basic sinful nature. Our stories of
anguish, sorrow and failure are all different. But, the answer is the same - dying to self
that Christ might live through us. The Bible tells us in Romans 6:6 "...knowing this,
that our old self was crucified with Him that our body of sin might be done away with,
that we should no longer be slaves to sin." Crucifixion means death and death to self
means freedom from sin.
There was a time that I would not have received this message. My
facade was too important and the sins of my heart were too frightening to even consider.
But, like so many other women, I simply could not go on in the exhausting business
striving to maintain the image. In surrender I have found freedom. In dying to self I have
found Life.
Most women who God brings across my path are like I was. They are
"poor broken slobs" but don't know what to do about it. Life has battered and
broken them and left them with many scars. They throw themselves into Church activity and
do all the prescribed routines for spirituality. But it doesn't ease the nagging feeling
that they are "missing the mark."
Much of the teachings in the Church only increases this feeling of
spiritual failure. Somehow, the notion that one "arrives" spiritually has
embedded itself into church teaching. Sometimes it's subtle. Other times it's blatant. I
remember sitting in a Sunday School class where the teacher held up a "ladder of
spirituality" and asked us where to determine which rung of righteousness we were on.
He placed himself at about 2/3 of the way up. The sad thing was, he really believed it. He
was a deacon in the church and had worked hard to build the new church building, donating
both his time and money. But, in the business world he was known for something entirely
different - his dishonesty. It is a sad commentary on the church where spiritual maturity
is based on performance and matters of the heart are ignored. Show me the person who says
they are on the top rung of the "spiritual ladder" and I will show you someone
who needs to get on their knees and repent of their spiritual pride!
God knows what our hearts are made of. Yet, we desperately try to
deceive Him and ourselves. When we start getting honest with ourselves and with God, those
very things that were so threatening to us lose their power. Instead of desperately trying
the convince the world and ourselves that we are not a certain way, we are free to admit
we are that way and then surrender it to God.
The Bible says, "the truth shall set you free." John 8:32
In this case, no truer words have been spoken. So much of our life is spent denying and
deceiving others so they won't find out the truth. The truth we desperately hide is found
in those ugly thoughts that flit across the back of our minds, the wounded ego that denies
its' hurt, the unforgiving heart that feels justified, the cynical humor at other's
expense, and those countless other emotions that we exhibit yet deny. The ironic thing is
that God (and perhaps other people) can see through our facade. The things we deny with
the most vehemence are usually the most obvious in our personality. The miser will
stridently deny that he is a tight wad; the gossip will adamantly defend her virtue.
They're not fooling anyone. The more they feel exposed the more they strive to keep the
facade intact. How much easier it is to come before God and say, like the Publican,
"Lord I am not worthy." How much more freeing it is to come to God and say,
"God, I am a gossip. I love being the center of attention because I know something
about someone that others don't. God, I enjoy gossip and this is what I have to offer you.
You change my heart. God, I am incapable." Truth is the balm for the hurting heart
and the antidote to deceit.
