A stable marriage is the most important aspect of a
shepherding home. A husband and wife must be deeply committed to one another and to the
marriage. They must be able to communicate openly about both good things and bad. In any
marriage there will be disagreements, but there should not be divisive arguments.
It is always stressful when an outsider is brought into the home.
That stress is magnified because a young woman in a crisis situation is often emotionally
unstable. For most girls, this may be the first loving marriage they have ever seen.
Because of this, it is not enough that there simply be an absence of negative attitudes in
the marriage. There must be a strong, loving relationship, coupled with mutual respect.
Our Christian witness begins with the manner in which the husband and wife treat each
other in the home. If there are underlying problems in the marriage, any show of Christian
love outside the home will become suspect.
It is also important that neither the husband nor the wife become so
involved with the situation that they neglect nurturing their own relationship. We make it
a point to have a candlelight dinner without children or the girls at least once a month.
This is a special time for us to talk and share our feelings in a private and relaxed
atmosphere.
It is an absolute must that the husband and wife be equally
committed to the shepherding home concept. There are bound to be problems if one is
enthusiastic about the idea and the other is reluctant. One partner should never have to
talk the other into this work. With both the husband and wife equally committed to the
Lord, to each other, and to helping a young woman in trouble, the most important
ingredients for success are present.
