I think it is worth taking a minute to reflect on one
reason women find it hard to accept themselves and feel like they never can measure up.
Look at the huge number of tapes and books about the life experiences of Christian women .
The theme usually runs something like this: A woman is caught in the lusts and sins of the
world until she finds Jesus. She is then transformed into the perfect Christian woman.
Between page 100 and page 225 she goes from sinner to saint and her whole life becomes
wonderful. To top it off, she "arrives" spiritually! Now, the authors don't mean
to say this. And, they would be the first to say it’s not what they meant. But, when
the reader is a woman who feels like she doesn't measure up spiritually or personally,
these books set unreal standards. She will be inspired with the miracle of what happened
in the author's life. But at the same time, she will ask herself, "What's wrong with
me? Why can't I become like her?"
The second type of books that cause women to have this mind set are
the instruction manuals on how to become the perfect Christian woman. These books are
written by the Christian "answer women" who present themselves as the standard
to which all women should aspire. They set before you the recipe for becoming the perfect
wife, lover, mother, homemaker, friend and Christian. They have prescriptions to solve all
of life's problems. If you have problems with your sex life simply greet your husband at
the door naked, wrapped in saran wrap. (This is really advice given in a book!) If you
have problems with self esteem pamper yourself with a bubble bath and a new dress.
To the woman who sees herself as a murderer or the woman who's
father molested her as a child, or any number of other "poor broken slobs",
these books only mock their despair. But, because of their self loathing, they never ask,
"What's wrong with this book?" Rather, they ask, "What's wrong with
me?"
