Some of you might have the impression that in
surrendering we all become meek, lowly, spiritual clones. Actually, quite the opposite
happens. As you start surrendering those things that you previously denied, it creates a
freedom that you may never have experienced before. A freedom to stand up and honestly
confront that which needs confronting. As God leads you into honesty with yourself you
will begin to deal honestly with others.
Let me give you an example. When a person hurts us verbally, we
react predictably. It may be one of many emotions but they all spring from the same source
- self. With our egos wounded, we are not able to focus on the issue itself. Rather we are
weighted down with self pity or righteous indignation or any number of emotions that
result from being the victim of someone's vindictiveness. The first point in surrendering
is to recognize that, no matter what the other person did, your responsibility is only for
YOUR heart. It is YOUR feelings that God wants to deal with. He wants you to forgive that
person for your sake. This doesn't make the other person's offense any less serious or
wicked. Your forgiveness does not mean you are denying the other person's actions or
motives. Neither does forgiveness mean that the person should be "let off the
hook" from the natural consequences of their action. It does however, release you
from the destructive cycle brought on by the other person's sin.
When Peter molested my daughter, Satan set out to destroy as many
people as possible through this heinous act. Peter himself, my daughter, his family, my
family - all of these were slated for destruction by the master of evil. My hatred would
have worked right into his plan. If I had become consumed with hatred, it would have done
great damage to my family and friends. My marriage would have suffered and my relationship
with God would have been all but destroyed. When God placed forgiveness in my heart, He
used what Satan had intended for destruction for His own glory.
Peter was sentenced nine months after his arrest. I went to his
sentencing to witness his penalty. During that nine long months I had surrendered my
hatred and bitterness daily. It had been a struggle because of my desire to entertain my
thoughts of vengeance. I knew though, that if I was faithful in surrendering my thoughts
and desires God would be faithful in healing my heart. I also knew that it would be in His
timing - I only was to be obedient. I walked into the courtroom struggling with a fresh
onslaught of vengeful thoughts. Midway through the proceedings, as I was praying for the
strength to sit through it and surrendering my heart, I literally felt God wash His peace
and forgiveness over me. It was as if a huge weight was lifted from me. I felt light and
free for the first time since the ordeal began. After the sentencing I was moved to go up
to Peter and his mother and pass on to them the gift God had given me - forgiveness. The
victim's assistance officer who had been reluctant to let me even speak to them stood
there with tears running down her cheeks. She said, "I have seen verbal tirades,
physical assaults and even attempted murder after trials, but never in the history of my
work have I ever seen anyone do what you just did!" I tried so hard to explain to her
that I had done nothing. I was the merely recipient of an incredible gift from God called
grace that released me from the bondage of hatred! I gave my worst to God and He replaced
it with His peace and forgiveness.
